By: Red (redpan)    Jun-30 8:39 pm

I ride because it's WAY fun. Way better than bowling, mountain
climbing, sailing, even skydiving.  and, sex with your wife.  done em
all, and lots and lots more, still more fun.

being exposed to the elements, which means taking frozen sleet in the
face at 60 mph, baking like a potato, and having insects the size of
cocker spaniels hit me right in the chops at a warp velocity, is part
of the price of my permagrin.  i'm happy to pay.

fashion is for queers pretending to be human, and chicks so skinny
they should be three weeks dead.  posers follow my example.... see
"warp velocity insects" and "subfuckingzero windchill at a mere 40 mph
in Utah" for why i wear what i do. they don't know what the fuck they
are doing.

my machine only becomes a symbol of status when i've ripped the
factory out of it, or at least nearly so.

i have to understand how my machine works.  cage drivers sure ain't
going to stop and help when it croaks.

i strive to better handle my machine.  except for most of the time
when i'm near as drunk as fubar. then all bets are off. sorry. not
really. get a life.

I am the master, it is the servant. Working together in harmony, we
will become an invincible team.  just kidding. sounded all kung fu and
shit, though, didn't it...

I do not fear death. I will, however, do all possible to avoid death
prematurely. Fear is the enemy, not death.  actually, i have a real
healthy respect for death, hard learned, too.  it's a bitch to get
high and or drunk when your'e dead.  hate that.

yadda, yadda, yadda. hand me another bowl of rice. don't bogart that
fucking sake, either.

However, if they show me disrespect, they will be slapped. make that
bootdanced, bitchslapped, or hung out to dry. just don't fuck with me,
we'll get along fine. other than the occasional inappropriately timed
deathfart or a "loud exhaust", i'm not really out to fuck with you.

more yadda.

I will not judge other bikers on their choice of machine, their
appearance, or their profession.  but damn sure don't expect me to
ride with you or act like you really are all that because you have the
money for a trailer queen or haven't the sand to pony up for more than
a metric.  you think this thing i'm on was fucking free? does it look
free? the chrome, horsepower, or engineering alone on my ride cost me
more than you put into your "years of good credit."

But most of all, I ride to better understand myself, my machine, the
lands in which I ride, and to seek out and know other bikers like

meaning, don't ever try to burn my flag anywhere near me. for all
those who've gone before, and for those who will go after, i'll just
feel all obligated to kick the living shit right out of you, tv camera
or not.

have a nice day.